Episode 5: Where I Belong

Drugs and gangsterism ruined Paul Ang's life... and took his daughter away from him.

51-year-old Pastor Paul Ang last saw his daughter, Ms. Ang Hwee Lay, 22 years ago. She was only four when his wife divorced him and severed their ties completely.

Paul grew up in the notorious Bukit Ho Swee area during the '50s and '60s. Even a child had to join a gang or fell prey to constant bullying and beatings. Gangs and drugs were inseparable and Paul was easily influenced. By his 20s Paul was a man consumed by drugs. Hwee Lay's mother met him then and knew about his addiction, but fell blindly in love with him. Finding herself pregnant, Hwee Lay's mother went against her family's wishes and registered their marriage.

Two weeks before their ceremonial wedding, the police came and took Paul away. Hwee Lay was born when Paul was in prison and the first time he held her was when she was three. Paul's wife left after five years of tolerating his drug habit. Awareness dawned upon him the day his elderly mother visited him in prison. With knowledge of his mother dying from cancer, Paul prayed hard he would be released early. When released, Paul made a promise to himself that he would never be behind bars again. Through help from a halfway house, he made a complete turn-around.

Paul became a pastor and managed a home for old folks. But not a day went by when he did not pray for his long-lost daughter, his only child.

Click title to read morePastor Paul Ang seeks forgiveness from a daughter he let down 20 years ago. You might hold the key to reuniting this father with his only child.

Some feel that Pastor Paul Ang has a shred of his violent past reflected on his face. It might be actually an echo of pain from the separation of his only child.

The Beginning of the End
Born as Ang Qing Jie and immersed in Bukit Ho Swee’s notorious drug and gangster-ridden neighbourhood, Pastor Ang grew up looking up to leaders of secret societies and aspired to be one himself. A curious sniff of heroin had plunged Ang into the bottomless pit of drug addiction so consuming that Ang committed robbery to finance his drugs habit. Drug trafficking, fighting in gang clashes and drug consumption became the norm for the younger Ang.

Tough Love
In his youth, Ang was always concerned about his mother despite his secret society activities and visited her at her noodle hawker stall occasionally. A beautiful 17-year-old student helping out at his mother’s shop caught his eyes – and both youngsters fell fast in love despite Ang’s background. Protesting against her parents who opposed to their marriage, Ang’s girlfriend went on a hunger strike and won their assent. Sadly, Ang was thrown into prison again before their Chinese marriage formalities. In prison he missed the birth of their daughter too.

Driven by his drug habit, Ang was in and out of prison during his daughter’s childhood. Imprisoned, there was nothing he could do when his wife decided to divorce him and leave with his daughter. It was six years into their marriage, and the fifth time Paul went to prison. Ang got a rude awakening only when his aged mother visited him in the terminal stage of her cancer.

Finding Faith
From the other side of the prison door, Ang’s prison warden reminded a worried Ang that time was not always on his side. Passing him a Bible, the warden hoped for Ang to turn over a new leaf and treasure what was left of his life. Ang learnt to pray, begging for a chance to at least care for his ill mother.

Ang got his chance to care for his mother when he was released from prison, but it was not for long as his mother passed on shortly after. Then Ang found himself alone. Hoping to make amends for not caring enough for his mother while she was alive, Pastor Ang set up an old age home at Serangoon Gardens. By now, Pastor Ang was a graduate of Bible College, and also cleansed of his drug addiction from a Christian drug rehabilitation centre, the Helping Hand. He continues in his quest today to care for the aged at the home and also counsels wayward youths.

The Only Child
Pastor Ang cuts a quiet figure in front of the cameras. Now at peace with himself and remarried to a woman he met at church, Pastor Ang cannot forget the child he had let down so many years ago. His greatest wish is to see her again and seek her forgiveness. Pastor Ang has a possible lead – he last saw his ex-wife at a Hong Kong Street Zhen Ji cze char stall opened by her brother. The stall has since closed down.

The search for his only daughter, Ms Ang Hwee Lay, carries on for Pastor Ang. Ms Ang would be 25 years old this year.

“I just wish for one chance to make up for the past. Once, just once is enough. I really want to tell her that I love her.”

If you have any information on Ms Ang Hwee Lay, please email to fullcircle@mediacorpstudios.com or call the Full Circle Hotline 6350 3720. Log on to www.fullcircle.com.sg for more information and search cases.

by MediaCorp